Mirror, Mirror on the wall who's the LAZIEST of them all? Mirror: "YOU ARE!"

I was outside today sitting in my backyard and eventually fell asleep because well, I'm tired! but not the point. i was thinking as I was out there how lazy we really are. when i talk to people, i feel like there is so much stuff everybody wants to do - but nobody does it!! like what you ask? answer this question to yourself - what is one thing you want to do but don't? what is one thing you want to do but "don't have time for?" whatever the answer is - the cause is one thing. LAZINESS. you might be busy sure, but being busy does not mean not being lazy. did you catch that? read it over once more because its true. you CAN be busy AND lazy. you tell me you want to live for other people. you tell me you want to do good, volunteer, stop smoking, stop drinking, start reading more, write a book, sponsor a child. You tell me you are appalled by social injustice that you want to make a stand. You tell me you want to travel around the world and experience new things. Stop telling me you want to meet new people and start a new life. I'm talking about you. I'm talking about me. I'm trying to tell you that we have pushed some of these ideas to the back of our mind as we live OUR lives for US. there is a perspective change that needs to take place here. why do we involve ourselves in so much that we are exhausted by the time it comes to things that matter? and on the other side of the spectrum, when we finally seem to have time, why do we make excuses as to why we CAN'T do something we care about when we so obviously just WON'T? fight me on this, but at the end of the day what can we say we have done? what passions have we pursued? who have we helped apart from ourselves? and even then have we been true?

uninterested in what you are saying.

so i find myself more and more uninterested in the things people talk about. before you call me a self-absorbed jerk, hear me out. say we find ourselves in a room full of hmm just to make it easy lets say 10 people. it is you, me, and another 10. if we went around and both talked to everyone for 5-10 minutes each, what would we come away with? would we be better off? would you have learned anything from that other person? PROBABLY NOT. you would talk about school and the weather and jobs. that sort of thing. i'm not saying those things aren't important... okay actually i AM saying those things are not important because in the grand scheme of things, WHO CARES? AND WHO REMEMBERS THAT STUFF? come back a week later and you'll have all their schools and jobs messed up and intertwined. (if it was me i'd probably have their names pretty messed up too).. so you see.. i'm VERY uninterested in what people talk about these days.. i am EXTREMELY interested in what everyone is NOT saying!! get it?

i am DONE talking about nothing. aren't you tired of it? you do it to. i know you. stop asking the wrong questions. start asking the right ones. what are the right ones? well that i can't really give away. its top secret. but on the real - are we more concerned about someones job or somebody's current state in their life?? if you were honest with yourself... you would probably.. not admittedly, but probably be thinking "i don't even care about them in general. who are they to me?" truth is they are who you choose them to be. do you want them to be somebody? do you want to give their life meaning in relevance to yours? or do you want to keep them as a nobody? and potentially miss bringing and impact or receiving an impact on your own life? switchfoot put it best when they said to [stop chasing] "empty conversations filled with empty words".

emotionless suicide

people think of the word suicide and get scared, worried, paranoid maybe. granted, it is a scary thing. the physical death itself is scary, not unheard of, but certainly dare not be talked about. maybe i'll talk about that at another time but i wanted to write about something and ACCUSE YOU of something that you've probably dealt with in the past or maybe recently. why on earth would you commit emotionless suicide? okay maybe you don't know it by that term. emotionless - without emotion. suicide - killing ones self. emotionless suicide - killing ones emotion without even feeling it. lose you yet? stay with me. how often do we give up that vacation we want to make some more money? how often do we want something SO badly but put everything else before that? how often do we ignore the people that are closest to us because we are too busy concerned with ourselves? how often do you shed light on the fact that school.work.repeat is NOT supposed to be the story of your lives. and no, getting drunk every now and then doesn't put an end to the problem either, probably just makes it worse.

HOW ARE WE OKAY WITH THIS? how does a world continue to move despite the fact that it is missing direction? a car that is running on E, driving further and further from the gas station. that is who we are. we think it is going to be okay but unless we stop and do something about it, it is NOT. what are we supposed to do you ask? STOP LIVING BY JUST "GETTING BY". start living with the realization that your life is worth SO MUCH MORE than you know - stop being annoying, stop being mediocre, stop complaining, stop watching. start asking, start wondering, start acting and please stop destroying yourself with worthless motions and meaningless days.

she dies.

re: post: she cries.

Words were meant to be truthful, loving, helpful, resourceful, full of purpose. Recent times have shown the loss of such meaning we attach to words. What flows out now are also demands, hatred, cussing, and lies. There has formed a fine balance between how truthful SHE is. I honestly don't think she is completly truthful anymore. The thing with this is that she build one lie upon another. Her sweet lips no longer produce words that build lives but words that destroy them. From her lies come deceit and a brand new face that hides her own. She thinks she is doing a great job, holding her own. She is not. She figures if she keeps everybody isolated and is different with each person her lies will never find her. Because afterall, that IS why she does it. That IS what she's running from. She is spoiled with attention and wants even more. She seems beyond repair and hurting more than ever. Of course she says she's fine now but I am one little box that has been placed among many. I am block a. What abt blocks b, and see, and d-g? What do they know? What can I see that they don't? What can they see that I don't? Is it my fault? Do I keep myself in this box? I am afraid to step out because I think she will see me. But I think she will see herself and what life has become. She used to cry on the inside but I think that's all stopped. She's slowly dying now with nobody to save her. She's all alone but pretends not to be. She's incapacitated and cannot react. She's swarming with the noise of life and refuses to turn it all down and listen. Listen. All she hears are lies so that is all she tells. She is over, her life inconsistent and incomplete. She wants to live but no longer knows how. She is tied down by cuffs of which the shackles are lies. Break free, she thinks to herself - but what if its better here? What if...no, she knows it is not. But she does not know why. She can't feel what she used to feel. Numbed by the number of countless relationships, murder of the soul, destruction of the mind, the aged residue that resides with every word that turns into a lie uttered from the tip of her tongue. Its so natural now. She thinks, she lies. .she dies.

invisible lives

whats with the invisible life you are living? i think if we really look at the lives of others, maybe even into our own lives a little bit and think about the phrase invisible lives.. we can all relate in some way or another at some point or another. what i am saying is that at some point i am sure that you have felt you've been leading an invisible life - like nobody cares about what you do, you are flying under the radar, your life is not part of something important or any type of bigger picture. thats one scenario.

here is the real one. im telling you - if you THINK you're living an invisible life, or you don't know if you are, then trust me - YOU ARE. but its not that nobody cares. it's not that your life isnt part of a bigger picture. it's that you don't accept that yet. you think the universe is so much bigger than you. and sure, it is - but we were not created to be invisible. that would be pointless. i think we were created for something a little more than that. i think we were created to love, to impact, to change, to do something different, not to blend in but to stand out. to live really highly VISIBLE lives. i don't believe we are supposed to hide in someones shadows. i think we can cast our own shadows. i don't think we need to settle for less when there is a whole world out there. I'm sure we can just get by, but WHY?

potential was meant to be lived and fleshed out. kinetic. know the difference? here's a small refresher course. potential energy is stored up, not used.. but waiting to be. kinetic is energy in motion! stored energy that is now being used to MOVE. i think we need to shift gears and take the plunge from a potentially invisible life.... to a kinetically visible one. set goals, make 'em happen. thanks.

addicted to pain.

i think it is safe to say that we are all addicted to something. when you are addicted, you are hooked, you become dependent. im addicted to my blackberry. thats why they call it a crackberry. if you dont get the joke, then we will talk later. people are addicted to smoking, to alcohol but also to talking, and to money, and working, and lust, and cars, and buying and buying, and food, and technology, and so many other things. what are YOU addicted to? tell me. you are a slave. so am i.. we are slaves to ourselves, we have captured ourselves in some type of real-world phenomena where we are proclaimed free but still choose to live as slaves. an addict is a slave to the addiction. one thing that i have been noticing that we are addicted to in some way shape or form is pain. yea, thats what i thought - what an odd addiction. here is what we are missing - addictions are not always enjoyable.

what kind of pain are you addicted to? are you holding onto a grudge? are you waiting to heal a broken relationship? are you suffering from a broken heart? did you break a heart? are you crying over a promotion at work? did you fail a class? did you get a traffic ticket? did you do something in the last 24 hours you regretted? why do you LET these things take a hold of you? why do you LET these things destroy you, bring PAIN into your life? i understand everyone deals with things a little differently but the fact of the matter is this - you hurt because you want to, sometimes because you need to. BUT! you forget to take the other side of things. in EVERYTHING there is a lesson to be learned, and something to be thankful for.

why are we so addicted to being mad at ourselves, other people, or our circumstances? when life is on a downward spiral, enjoy the ride. when it is at a standstill, catch your breath. when it is going uphill, get ready for what is next. sorry for the roller coaster metaphor, it just fit.. plus i just went to 6 flags. and when life seems to be just going steady.. KNOW that there is something coming up. smile around each turn, throw your hands up because you really can't predict life.. no matter how hard you try. but one thing you can know?... you'll be ok.

re-post.

so i realize that some of my posts might seem like reposts, this might be the first "re-post". a re-post is defined as a reoccurring thought that has found its way to the surface of my mind, where it lingers and grows more and more until i can't contain it anymore and need to get it on paper. i've been doing that more, so my system is clear. thing is, the importance of a re-post shouldn't be underplayed. i don't liek doing it BUT.. if i do, it has got to mean something. and obviously it will not be the same EXACT thing, but it is a re-structuring of the thought or an "addendum" you might say. who knows? after all this, this might not turn out to be a re-post afterall. but at least now you know what a re-post is. i've been thinking and pondering the entire idea of doing. ok there are a few different sects of people here. some of you just don't care. which is.. well, not okay.. but maybe that'll change - or maybe not. i hope so though, cause that'd make a huge world of change. anyway, the second group of people are the people who want to see something happen. and that is HUGE! that's great that we want to see change, and be part of the change, and inflict change and just watch things turn out right and be good. this is actually the group of people who come up with ways to live differently. live for others more. its the group with all the ideas, and a crazy amount of structre. it is where all the thought gets poured into and the messages get taught and spread to other people about how to live a more fruitful and meaningful life. sounds attractive doesn't it? it is, trust me. i've been there for most of my life. i'm moving on up though. to the third group. well, i want to. i find how hard it is to be there, and why so few people are. so the second group were people who wanted to see change happen. the third group is the one that MAKES it happen. we have everything and anything at our disposal. we have the opportunity to either chngange a community, a county, a state..... no no, too big right? ok that's fine. but i dare you to challenge me on the fact that we have an opportunity EVERYDAY to change at least one life.

my main point is that i think that while talking about it and planning things are good, why don't we just DO things? every day - why don't we just live out what we talk about? take a few minutes real quick and imagine this.. really imagine.. place yourself in a world like this - you are walking down the street and say hello to your neighbor, or a random person - and start talking and get intoa conversation. you say your goodbyes and go into work. you make an INTENTIONAL effort to reach out to someone when no one else will. You admit your flaws while accepting theirs. i think we spend too much time planning. why not just do? what in us stifles us from realizing how much we have to offer? how much we have to give? why do we shy away from situations instead of making the most of them? i think you would be different, along with those around you if you embraced every opportunity that surrounded you. there are so many so don't give me crap excuses about how there are none. Look around - what do you see? i see a sea of lost faces, waiting to be listened to. fascinating fact. try it out.. 1000000+ people in this world right? every single one has their own story.

just try it. see what happens. see what/who changes. SEEK AND YOU WILL FIND. its about being real. and knowing that we are here to help each other. no exceptions, sorry.

free writing. part I

as i sit here and sing a few songs i'm tempted, although i do not want to be.. and although i don't want to think about it.. to wonder, ponder, and ask the question.. what if there is something more? i don't know what it is. i don't know what else it could be because the conclusion that i have come to is that this. is. EVERYTHING. and so if there is something more, it can't be anything out of my control. it has to be in my control. what if we have become so confused and disillusioned by what we are SUPPOSED to do? what if we are finally fighting over weighty concepts and important decisions? what if we are finally planning out our strategy? what happens when we actually return to our knees? maybe this something more is the something that is next. what would it look like if you finally realize that all the little puzzle pieces in your life were building up to this one place in our lives.......

oh and check this. "our" entire lives we have been losing patience and wondering what would happen if this could change. what would happen if people focused? what would happen if people stopped being hypocrites and actually inflicting change? this is never going to change. it will never happen until we take it into our own hands. lets go somewhere else maybe its different, nope just the same. do we not realize? THIS IS IT. THIS IS OUR DREAM, COMING UNVEILED. how dare we even begin to think this is not happening, how could we possibly believe this is not reality? this is real!! we have talked too long, its finally time to act.

did you follow all that? its for a certain few. maybe not for you.

i'm better than you.

that is the attitude we take on a lot of times whether we realize it or not. before you deny it, take some time to think about that. don't we think we are better than some people in a few places? once in a while? yea, and if you deny it you are lying. but i don't mean to insult - hear me out. i am guilty of this as well. take a trip down memory lane with me to high school. remeber how we were with the same group of people for 6/9 periods sometimes? there is certainly a time when you took time out of whatever you had to do to talk to a friend or someone in need that had to get something off their chest. there is a time i guarantee it that you sat down and all you were asked to do, or even had to do was listen. nothing else. what an unselfish act. listening to the problems of another person. it seems to relevant and obvious and second nature doesn't it? why have we put this behind us? why don't we do it as much anymore? why has our life all of a sudden spun out of control into something that we can't explain. how often do we take time out now to talk to our neighbor? to see what they are thinking, to ask how life is going? how often do we SACRIFICE our time to make others feel less insignificant? that their problems actually matter? why can't we love like we used to. and if you didn't used to, why can't you try? have our lives become so wrapped up in ourselves and our spouses/significant others or circle of friends that we have come to disregard those around us? there are people slowly dying on the inside and just desperately seeking for a listening ear. be silent, just listen for a change. don't say a word. sometimes the quietest conversations can have the most lasting effects. imagine saying nothing at all and changing a life. DO YOU DARE step into the life of another? or are you saving that task for someone else, because you are simply better and have "other things" to take care of? well guess what? you are not fooling anybody. stop acting and start living, loving, caring - sound corny? maybe - but try it out. and then get back to me. DELVE DEEPER THAN "HOW ARE YOU". DEMAND AN ANSWER.

to put others before ourselves. wow what a concept. where have i heard that before?...

ExTrEmIsTs.4.[xLoV3x]

I was listening to Rob Morris, the president and founder of Love146 on a youtube video titled "love thoughts." I thought this was an interesting title for a video so as i sat there, watching him and listening to his words, the last few words really grabbed my attention and kind of slapped me a little bit. His last words on the videoblog were "can we be extremists for love?" at the time I wasn't even sure what that little blurb means but as i start to think about it more and more, i'm appalled that i even THOUGHT of it as a little blurb at all. Rather, it is an appropriate, urgent, and necessary action above all else. Used in any context, an extremist.. ok see dictionary.com tells me an extremist is someone who goes to the extremes. thank you. now check this out.. what does extreme mean? well we got a couple of definitions for you (we = me and dictionary.com) :

1. Of a character or kind farthest removed from the ordinary or average

2. Exceeding the bounds of moderation

3. Farthest, utmost, or very far in any direction

4. Going to the utmost or very great lengths in action, habit, opinion, etc.

How cool is that?? Think of that in terms of love, and think of love as an action. to Love so strong that is exceeds the bounds of moderation!! To Love so much that it is far removed from the ordinary character of a person. To love so deep that it is as far as the east is from the west! To love so much that you would give yourself for the person, the cause, the child, the one who needs it. OK, i know it seems a bit abstract but WHAT WOULD IT LOOK LIKE if we redefined how important it is to love? WHAT WOULD IT LOOK LIKE if we loved PeOpLe as much as we loved our money, our education, our family, our blackberries.. ? WHAT WOULD IT LOOK LIKE if we became extremists for love, in love, and with love?

She Cries.

A life that started out so right, looked so real and looked so bright. She had everything she didn’t need, and everything she wanted was quickly obtained. Money was sometimes an issue but her heart knew that it was easily overcome. Friends have always been there for her to support her but for some reason always seemed to turn their backs on her. Maybe it was her fault. But she didn’t think so. She chose to believe that all people were going to ever do was let her down. So she found refuge in one person. And then chose to put all of herself in that one person. she was in love. Head over heels absolutely encapsulated with this other human being that just seemed to pay attention to her so much more than anybody else ever had.

Nope, that’s not the end of the story. Maybe that is just the beginning. In her head she started thinking maybe there was someone else, even better than the first. She was wrong, but it was all in her head. The one she was with was now gone and all she was left with were broken pieces of a once reconstructed heart, that never seemed to be completely glued together. Its like the pieces didn’t fit. It’s almost as if someone had taken pieces from another puzzle and mixed it with her own. It wasn’t all her heart. Who can fix her heart? Won’t somebody answer? I will, he said. And so she tried again. And again and again. And all the time she always thought there was someone better. But people were stupid, right? All they ever do is think about themselves. Or was that her? She hated herself now because maybe she realized it was her fault that life wasn’t going the way it was supposed to. Where is that real heart?

She has no blood anymore. What flows through her bloodstream is jealousy, violence, hatred, and hopelessness. There is no joy. But was there ever? Will she rediscover it? Or discover it to begin with? I can’t believe what I am hearing. I can’t believe what I am seeing. She seemed to have it together. She was so real, wasn’t she? She has told me she’s ok. She has told me that life is good, that it is better. She smiles and laughs and enjoys life. Finally. What is that? It doesn’t seem to match up..a mask. She is hurting more than ever but sometimes feels like she can’t share her entire life with us. She is too ashamed. She wants a remedy, she seeks it and tries it again. And again. She is trying all the wrong things. She is asking all the wrong questions. But maybe she is not asking questions at all. She was never really involved in the wrong crowd. Why did she have to make herself an outcast? Why does she not associate with people that might be able to help? She denies help and in doing that denies herself. She is wrapped up in everything and wrapped up with nothing.

She cannot see clearly. She refuses to put on her glasses. Why won’t she use them? What is she afraid of? What if the glasses break? What if they don’t fit? What will they solve? She can see fine, she comments. Ah what is she even looking through though? What are we saying? She pretends she can’t even find those glasses anymore. She is so far gone that I cannot bring her back. Neither can you. Neither can he. Does she know about redemption? She has to. She’s talked about it, she claims to have experienced it.

What about love? Does she know love? I feel as if she doesn’t. she can’t see that true love heals, and delivers, and empowers, and lives, and mends the broken pieces. Remember those broken pieces? Love will fix that. Doesn’t she know that love is the simple answer? Why does she ignore simplicity? does she fear the unknown? Why is she so drawn to some people? And so afraid of saying hello to others? She is miserable in and of herself. She has the saddest face I’ve ever seen and the lowliest manner. She wants to be left alone sometimes. Flooded with people the other times.

But still lives alone - emotionally, spiritually, and physically.

Hey slacker!

You are a slacker. How do I know this? Well I'm pretty sure if I asked you the question about where you wanted to be right now or what dreams and aspirations you had in store for yourself I would get an iffy answer like I don’t know or “when the time is right” or “oh it’l happen”. How many of you are going out there and pursuing what you claim to love and what you claim to want to be? If you want to be in healthcare, get the hell out of retail (yes that’s me). But if you want to be a journalist don’t do nursing. If you want to be a teacher don’t become a doctor. Be what you want to be and pursue it passionately. You are going to be 10x better as a teacher than a doctor if your heart is in teaching. You will not believe some of the lost dreams that I’ve heard. I have people who wanted to become engineers in mediocre jobs that far from satisfies them.

Are you a slacker?

What I am saying is that listen – take a look around at friends and family. We have them all for a reason. But in the end.. at the end of the day when the sun goes down, the moon is in full shining and the stars are aligning, what right do we have to not pursue what we love. Is it not our life? Ok, maybe it is our life FOR God, but is my life more mine or my parents? Or my churches? Or my friends? Its mine, is it not? Love what you do, no matter where you do it or how long it takes to get you there because in the end its all worth it. The final outcome completely cancels out the pain and sacrifices it took to get there.

don't die on me...

what the hell do you need to keep going? haven't you tried it all yet? the relationships that falter and fail because they are built on lies and mistrust? the drinks that seems to be a stress-reliever but in fact is nothing more than a temporary asylum for you to escape into? or what about the drugs that constantly fill you up making you somebody you are not - at all? Can't relate? What about that BROKEN life that you live in that you try to patch up by working ALL the time, or being out ALL the time. why do you NEED constant communication with people at all times? WHAT IS YOUR LIFELINE? WHAT IS IN YOUR IV DRIP? what are YOU thirsty for? what are you LONGING for? your life has so much potential. yea sure you can do whatever you want to do, but what if there was one thing you were SUPPOSED to do? why do we keep running and burning out and trying to fill up on watered down fuel? where is the real stuff? where is the high premium 93 grade gasoline? its at your heart, people. no i'm not saying everything has to be spiritual but how much sense would it make to live a life that is NOT all about ourselves? a life that models the perfect model? stop running when you don't have to. escape but for a brief moment into the blissful presence of a creator a million times as powerful as you, who loves everyone, but at the same time loves YOU.